A tale of cowardice and short-term ’self-‚employment

Every now and then in my life I meet someone I think I like. I agree to go to a party or get-together. I start something that sounds really good and exciting. But then I get this horrible feeling in my stomach that won’t go away – a mix of anxiety and stress – and I know that what I have agreed to or who I have just met isn’t good. Isn’t what I wanted. Is wrong. So I quit. I cancel, don’t call, don’t write back. It’s like my inner-alarm bell. Coward? Yes. Easier? Definitely. (Note: When I say horrible feeling I mean: stressful-can’t think of anything else-ultra_uncomfortable-don’t want to do it/go there feeling…it’s not just me being lazy, ok? ;p)

Anyway, all last week I walked around with that feeling in my stomach and here’s why:

Photo from Realityburst.com

It was either last year or at the beginning of this year that a woman stopped me on the High Street and asked me whether I was interested in a job. Something about distributing brochures. Sure, I was but was still employed so couldn’t commit to anything. I told her that if I saw her again we could speak.

Last week, we met again and after a short conversation we arranged to meet at my house to discuss things further. She works for A. (a popular and famous company who sell beauty products amongst other things) and was looking for Representatives. My job description was this:

  • distribute brochures to all houses in streets x, y, z
  • go back 3 days later to collect them all
  • hope for orders
  • send orders to A. HQ
  • wait for goods
  • take goods to customers, get money
  • send money to A. via post office.

Yes, it is as old fashioned as it sounds. Honestly, the only people who might benefit from this ancient get-up are people without a computer and internet…and who is without a computer or internet nowadays where 5 year olds have mobile phones?

Anyway, although not initially my dream job I thought I’d try it. I might make a little bit of cash on the side and it gets me out of the house.

So I went and did the above. I am now waiting for the goods and have ‚handed in my notice‘ yesterday. Well, I told the recruiting lady I don’t want to do it anymore. It’s not my kind of job. I wouldn’t mind the distributing of brochures but the rest is not my style. Here’s why:

  • what it boils down to: this is cold calling (mostly after ‚potential customers‘ come home from work) until you have a customer base
  • wasteful – all the brochures that I get back? Go into the bin…along with the unused order sheets
  • if I don’t make a certain amount of £ (which can change anytime) I don’t get anything
  • the small print tells me I have to pay for the brochures, so not only do I get a fraction of what people pay for their goods I lose some of it to order more brochures…which mainly go into the bin. I might as well throw my money into said bin, wastes less time *rolls.eyes*
  • if the orders are less than £10 I have to pay £2.50 for the delivery…

They seem to be doing something right because they have Celebs doing adverts and stuff for them and thousands of women work for them and doing exactly that job, but I can’t help but think: really? This all sounds odd and shifty and I don’t know…. I guess, I’ll have to look elsewhere.

What about my feeling of anxiety and stress? Well, it’s lifted and as soon as I have given the goods to the people and the money to THEM, I am free and can thus breathe freely and concentrate on doing something that does not make me feel like I’m about to have a panic attack…

Have you got an inner alarm bell like this? Do you react like I do or do you see it through?

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